It’s 5:30 a.m. The alarm beeps. She contemplates the dedication, rolls over and sees the dog. She’ll always do it for the dog. Out of the bed, down the stairs, shoes on, push the coffee button, grab the leash, out the door. “Shit”, forgot the dog. Open the door, “Come on girl, time to go run”. Hop in the car, start, brake, reverse. Turn right, wait for the green, turn again, park. Hop out, grab the dog, head over to the trail. The routine of life.
She passes people and thinks about how she would give anything to have the trail to herself. The lake, the upcoming sunrise, the trail, the dark. The things we wish for; how many times are they really what is best for us? Her head is full of thoughts. She’s yelling at herself for not being able to concentrate. Just think about the running. She’s worried about her dog, she’s worried about worrying. She’s worrying about wanting to be alone. Everyone, just go away. Let my mind clear. It can’t clear if additions are being made. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” She notices a unique quietness. She starts to get nervous. Born with an imagination beyond vivid, she scolds her neurosis.
Footsteps. There are footsteps behind me. Of course there are, you are on a running trail. They are getting close. Imagination. Imagination. Imagination. Breath? Just the wind. Calm down. You always do this. Dog seems nervous.
One more step. Lag. Drop. Time is stopped. This is going to add a minute. Come on, why are you stopping? Shit, she’s after a squirrel. The leash got away. Yelp. Bark. Bark. Bark. Anxiety, freeze, panic, tears. She can’t be hurt. Where are you? I can’t see. Do I yell? Silence. Where are you? Please, make a sound. Lightning bolt. It’s not raining.
He rationalizes every move. He just muzzled the dog and tied her to the tree. He gave her a bone. He’s been watching her for months. She has made it so easy for him. He’s convinced himself that she knows he has been watching and planning. He dreams that she asks him to take her. To hurt her. He’s getting excited. She’ll be getting close soon. She’ll smell of sweat just like he likes it. RAW. There she is. No light. Her protection muzzled. Why doesn’t she have a phone? Why doesn’t she have mace, a taser, a gun? Naievty, his strength. It’s time to hit. Don’t let her see. Get the bat. Strike.
Eyes open. Where is Hazel? I don’t hear her. Don’t hurt her. She’s on the ground. She looks up. Smile. Eyes. Lips. Muddled. She can’t put her thoughts together. The sky is pink. Sunrise. Her favorite time. Her legs are numb. Lucidness strikes. Pounding; her head is pounding. Slice. Red. Where is she? “Come on, girl. Let’s go”. Nothing. Total focus on her safety. Unconditional love does this; erases your mind of the horror that is forcing itself into you.
He tells himself how bad she wants this. She’s not fighting anything. She looks at him without fear. Slice. “Wait, look at me. You have to look at me.” Slice. Slam. Heaven. Warm. Slam. Wet. “Look at me.” She’s not looking. She’s not concentrating. She’s laughing. Slice. “Look at me!” Slam. Slam. Slam. It’s not working. Air. Take her air. She wants it. She wants you. Control her. Take her. Slice. Slam. Slice. Slam. Slice. Slam. Slice. Slam. Slice.
Pain. “Where is she?” I can’t move. Why can’t I move? Pain. Red. She’s hurt. I have to find her. Slice. Slam. Yelp. Bark. Air. Air. Air. I can’t breathe. Don’t hurt her. Foot steps. Calm down, It’s a running trail. Voices. Voices. People. Leave me alone. Where is she? Tears. Scream. Anxiety. People. Watching. Staring. Red. Pain. Where is she? Lights. Red. Tears. Thoughts. Where are my thoughts? Cold. Face. Gone.
Run. You can’t take too long. Stay. One more. She wants it. Slice. Pink sky. They’ll be coming. Foot steps. Scream. Go. Run. Everyone is running. Run. Run. Run. Triumph. Let the dog go. She loves the dog.
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